Well, where to begin today. It's nice to be on a real computer rather than my phone, for starters. So much easier and faster for me to type. So, here I am, now 5 and 1/2 months pregnant. My outlook has completely 180-ed just like I figured it would when the little thing got big enough for me to feel and notice. So the sucky part is just beginning. I have lost my waistline and my hormones, omg, are going insane. My poor little boyfriend who gets to withstand it all. You'd think he would try to help a little bit more or at least stay out of my way more often, but no. Men always tend to do the exact oppisite of what they should be doing. Well especially when they are 19 and still have alot of growing up to do. I'm not even going to start bitching about him right now. That'll take me forever. Back to the point. I'm over half done and getting so excited to have a new baby in the house. Shayna is getting pretty excited to and is always talking about the baby in mommy's tummy will be her little brother or sister. She wants a sister, well today anyways. Marshall is hoping for a boy, which I'm semi hoping not....either way I really can't care too much--I'll have to be happy with what I get. I just wish I could find out what it is. Stupid title 19. Maybe I should just fake random uterus pains and bleeding just so they'd give me another ultrasound. Would that be low?? So a little less than 4 months to go....not bad I guess.

Anyways, enough about that for a while. Life today is going alright. Still can't find a job. Not a whole lot of places are looking for pregnant employees apparently. Good thing for roomates--so i get to play housewife..Which is okay since I have this need to clean everything all the time. I can't wait to get a job though. I'm so sick of being stuck in the house.....I'm starting to lose my eyesight from over-internetting so Ill finish tomorrow or something. As if any of this is actually interesting anyways.

So here i am. Finally. About 4 months pregnant and feeling a little on the skank side since i am not a hundred percent on who the daddy is. Either way i know none of them will be part of its life so no baby daddy drama. Which is excellent. Anyways i still have marshall who said he'd be there for me and both my kids. I'm glad i finally found myself a good guy. What other guy would start dating you and not even a week later find out your pregnant and still wanna be with you? He's amazing. A little lazy though. I just wish he'd help with the house a little. But i guess since he's the full time college student i shouldn't push so much. So i do it all. And its fair since he pretty much helps financially. I think i make a pretty amazing girlfriend. Even though i'm a little pregnant and bitchy on occasion.

So i've decided i'm going back to school. Only problem is i wanna do something i'm good at and like which is pretty much anything. Any ideas for me? I have til january to decide so let's see what i can figure out by then. But i'm going to stop now so i can clean. My house is trashed..

So as it turns out I am in fact pregnant again. And even more ironic than that is that it's my other babys daddy too...Which is such shit! I only got desperate enough to be with him again just that one time! And we even used protection! Stupid 99.9 % effective condoms...Anyways so I'm now ten and a half weeks pregnant with another little bundle of joy...I guess I'm still trying to get used to the idea considering I'm a 23 year old working at a Subway. I can't support 2 kids on that...So I've got this plan of action right now that is going to be perfect. But i have to go cook breakfast so i'll finish later. Bye bye.

As if the subject doesn't say it all. What the fuck am I going to do? I am not going to give it words just yet in case its a false alarm (as if that didn't just make it obvious). But it sure would make a lot of sense.


On the plus side though I now have a boyfriend. Who has actually been like my best friend for about the last 3 years. I thought it'd be weird at first but its not! Which is great. We're still getting along as well as we did before but with more touching?? lol. It's probably the best decision I've ever made. Not to mention he is only 18...oops. lol 4 years isn't so bad though. Oh and in less than 2 weeks I will be in possesion of my own house!!! Just me and my baby girl again. It'll be exciting. But for now that's all the happiness I can express considering.....Well, you know. So I am going to go now and will post results and probably ALOT of swear words say around 4 o'clock. If your interested.

So here I am just sitting at work. Bored as hell. Apparently no one wants to eat subway today. Which is cool with me cuz i'm getting paid to sit on the internet...

Anyways, life is very unfortunate, as usual..But the good news is that i'm finally fed up with all the bull shit that i've decided for sure that i'm moving to Waterloo in 2 months max. I want to go now but for sure need to save up some money first. I may have found another part time job so that should help out alot. Especially considering that i can go in and work whenever i want. Hello awesome paychecks. But i suppose i should find something useful to do with my time. I'll be on later i'm sure, that is if i can't find any gas money to get me to waterloo....Hopefully i'll get tired.

So today has been kinda sucky. Shayna has been a little punk all day long, it was hotter than crap and I had to run like 9000 errands (with no air conditioning in my car, i might add). Plus everyone has been acting so ignorant today. Like its national "lets act like we have no brain cells" day. Seriously.

So because it was hot me and Shayna ended up going swimming out at Airport for a little while then came home to the central air. My favorite sin. :)

So now she's sleeping and I am bored listening to a playlist of songs that I made on MySpace. Did I mention I was bored???? My hair is really really soft right now though. My one plus of the day....

Yeah so i'm posting from my phone cuz i'm sitting at work bored off my ass. I'm kid free for the weekend and still have nothing cool to do...Man, i need some new friends....I did get a little bit of joyous news today. That i'm not going to have to move back with my mom til my apt comes up on the 1st of august. That is the best effing news ever...My mom is the devil to live with...But any ways i should probably go work now...Hooray for subway...Not.

It's damn near 6 am and I can't sleep...It's the most horrible feeling ever. Like last night when I told Jeremy he could sleep in my bed--if he stayed on his own side and didn't snore....He did both....lol...So I couldn't fall asleep when every ten minutes he would stop breathing all together and scare the shit out of me...Then he would cuddle up next to me, which wouldn't have been so bad, if I was in fact doing him lol. So much for being nice and offering out my bed...Now I know better.

I'm so glad I have a new journal. It's easier than having to hand write in my own, and at least on here there's technically no physical evidence to be held against me later in life...which is why i've been seriously considering burning all my exsisting journals. I hate looking at them and looking back to my teenage days where I thought I was so oppressed and no one understands, blah blah blah. And I thought that life was hard then...Yeah.

So I am so bored out of my mind right now. I can't sleep. Shayna is still sleeping. Heather passed out on me. And, well, the internet is really kinda gay. So now what?? Hopefully finishing my tats can be penciled into my schedule today. Then it's work at 4. Then I'm hopefully running away to Des Moines for a few days with Heather. That'd be sweet...Eff New Hampton in its stupid A. I guarantee I'm homesick by morning...

Nothing else to babble about really. I'll probably be updating later from work where I'm sure I'll be bored as hell too. Gotta love phones that have internet. Well Peace Out.

It was so worth the wait. Heather, I love you so much right now. Who else would drive 3 1/2 hours to see me, just like that?? I sure hope I get to run away with her for a while....That'd be sweet. I need a vacation. So badly.

Sometimes I really wish I wouldn't have had Shayna so it would be so hard for me to run away. But she really forces me to think about things and then I realize I would never be able to survive anywhere but this shitty town. Talk about RUDE AWAKENINGS.

OMG!!! Heather needs to hurry the french toast up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.myspace.com/so_fragile_yet_so_devious

So I don't think this is going to be all that exciting. It's been almost two years since I had a blog...But I kinda miss it. So my life right now consists of working at Subway (eat fresh! lol) And if you think it's funny to sing the $5 footlong song to me, it's really not...I also have a 2 year old daughter thats funny as hell. Trust me, there'll be pictures soon enough...And that's pretty much it. I'm living with one of my really good friends parents because I am broke and they are the shit. Crazy, but the shit nonetheless...So never a dull moment here. Right now, Dena (my adopted mom) is taking Pat's (my adopted dad) naughty stuff she found and drowning it in a pond...lol. That should make for an interesting battle....So yeah, I guess I really have nothing else to ramble about right now, so enjoy!